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Sacred text from the ‘Church of the Silkie’ found

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It’s undeniable that Marines built the Church of the Silkie.

(Mike Morones/Staff)

(Mike Morones/Staff)

Even though the super-short shorty-short that doesn’t do much to cover up the body’s lower half isn’t technically a part of the uniform, the garment holds a cult-like status within the Corps. Like many religions, there are sacred texts. The Church of the Silkie, I recently learned, is no exception.

While researching this week’s cover story, I found a solemn devotion to the shorts written in an Amazon.com review by a Marine stationed in Cairo. I kind of felt like Indiana Jones finding the Ark or the Holy Grail when I stumbled upon this missive. It says, in part:

“These shorts are the best thing to happen to me since the creation of democracy. Nothing screams freedom like … these justice inducing booty shorts. …I especially love to duo these buttocks displaying power pants with a skin tight American flag tank-top. If you love bald eagles, freedom, and flexing your quads at strangers for the simple pleasure of gauging their reaction, then I highly encourage you to hop on the freedom train and purchase these shorts. They do not disappoint.”

Church of the Silkie doctrine requires believers recite this prayer before every workout. The faithful will be rewarded with the comfort only silkies can provide and a perfect score on the PFT.

You can read that homage to silkies in full, along with many other entertaining reviews on the short shorts, here.

Comments

  1. Vance (Gunny) Loyd Says:
    August 19th, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    Fits the Best And Comfortable. OOH-RAH

  2. Ryan S. Gibson Says:
    August 20th, 2014 at 1:20 am

    I wrote this over a year ago while i was posted in egypt. I have responded to threats more than once in my silkies and will continue to do so until i die!

  3. Passing The Word: Sacred text from the ‘Church of the Silkie’ found | Battle Rattle | AmphibOps Triathlon Says:
    August 20th, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    […] http://blogs.militarytimes.com/battle-rattle/2014/08/19/sacred-text-from-the-church-of-the-silkie-fo… […]

  4. frank the tank Says:
    August 21st, 2014 at 10:31 am

    To all of you who wore Sm-Mediums instead of the XLs you should have: Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us!

  5. BRO Says:
    August 21st, 2014 at 9:14 pm

    True JR everyone that wore that trash either felt sexy in them, got in touch with there feminine side while wearing them, or were somewhat gay.

  6. jr Says:
    August 23rd, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    Like I said, before Marine Corps Times deleted my last post I rocked silkies for about a month until I realized what a bunch of stupid homosexuals we all looked like. Did I clean that up better for you Marine Corps times? Marines leave the silkies in the bedroom with your girlfriend or boyfriend. If you want to look like a disgusting fruit or Richard Simmons and have everyone clown you go for it.