Broadside Blog

The Precious
Posted by Bacon on September 3rd, 2013 filed in Broadside moments

golum

This article will disturb you for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is you are looking at possibly the worst rendition of Gollum you will ever see.

But beside that, it is about obsession, and we are all susceptible to it. Of course I am talking about lost keys. Sure, it is discerning when you lose your first (and favorite) set. It gets worse when you lose the spare set.

But it gets really, really bad when you lose the emergency backup that you swore you would never take out of the fire safe.

That one becomes The Precious.

Without it you are immobile, and the SUV in the garage suddenly becomes nothing more than two tons of worthless metal. I know I will eventually find it in a pocket, or on a counter, or in a drawer somewhere; but until then I am compelled to endlessly search for it.

I begin to suspect my family.
I begin to suspect the dog.
I begin to suspect people who have never met me or been in my house.
I begin to suspect everyone.

The solution is obvious. I have to get new keys or I’ll go crazy. I’ll need to get a new primary, a new spare, and an emergency backup.

They will be the trilogy.

I will once again be Lord of the Keys, and peace will return to Middle America.

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