Broadside Blog

Despots of Despair
Posted by Bacon on June 10th, 2014 filed in Broadside moments

I just finished a bike ride and got to meet elite athlete Rebecca Rusch. She is known as the Queen of Pain because she competes in the sort of athletic events that would make most of us shrivel up and die. Not her. She embraces the agony that comes with extreme competition.

But she has nothing on dentists. If she is the Queen of Pain, they are the Despots of Despair. The Tyrants of Teethdom. The Monarchs of Misery.

They are to teeth what Genghis Khan was to the thirteenth century.

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A buddy of mine had a dentist tell him that he didn’t “like the look” of one of his teeth. [When you hear a phrase like this, you might as well start popping pain killers, because what comes next is going to hurt.] He did some work on it. It got infected and the doctor had to pull it. Then the tooth NEXT to it got infected. Ironically, the original reason my buddy had gone in was to have someone look at a tooth on the OTHER side of his mouth.

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I think they like it. I think they enjoy the unlimited, irrevocable power they have over us when we are in the chair. Either that or they are just angry all the time and feel the need to take it out on the poor patients.

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I wonder what happens when the Queen of Pain goes to the dentist? It would be like Godzilla meets Rodan. Or Godzilla meets Mothra. Or King Kong. Or King Ghidorah; or frankly, any of the giant radioactive monsters Godzilla has to face.

It would be epic.

As for me, I’ll stay back, play it safe, and hang out with Genghis Khan.

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